I think about how, mostly, the older sibling has control, dominate and can fool the younger ones. That is caused because the younger siblings have a feeling of admiration and idolization toward the older one. I do not remember how I felt or what I thought when I was from 2 to approximately 6 years old that was when my brother was able to control me, but I can see siblings going through that, or I can hear stories from my friends and I can tell how the older one takes advantage of the innocence from the little one. My brother can still fool me sometimes making me do what he wants me to do, but each time I get clever. Where I´m trying to get is, because of the domination and control my brother had when I was little, now I have great memories I enjoy remembering and I can laugh off from when he made me believe or do certain things.
I remember when I was no older than 5 years old, and in the house that we lived in my parents had a walking closet. And my brother, whom should had been 7 or 8 years old, would take me to “el mundo de la magia”, the magic world. It all started when we went into my parent´s closet that was the spacecraft in which we traveled in time. I don´t remember those trips very well, I cannot tell you if we went way back in the past and saw dinosaurs, but still I had a blast playing that.
One day I was at my house with my mom and brother and we had just finished lunch. I can only remember that I have done something wrong, maybe I spilled a glass or something like that and my mom was angry. I did not like to be punished or grounded so I was crying in the living room with my brother beside me, and I could see my mom sweeping the dining floor. Then my brother told me to go upstairs and into the closet so we could go to “el mundo de la magia”. I refused the first time because I was upset, but my brother managed to convince me and go with him. So we started our crossing, but I wasn´t really convinced of wanting to go, for which my brother told me that we could go to our house and everything would be the same although my mom wouldn´t be mad. After hearing that I was completely convinced of going and after asking him some questions to make sure it was true we went into the closet. The protocol was that we were supposed to close our eyes and picture the place we wanted to go, and at the same time get on our knees, and then my brother would count regressively until zero. After he finished we would open our eyes and we were in the place we wanted.
When I opened my eyes everything seemed the same as my house, but I had this strange feeling that something was different. I was not sure if it was different in a good or in a bad way, so I was intrigued but curious about it. Very careful, silent and slowly my brother and I went downstairs so I could check if it was true and in this place my mother wouldn´t be angry anymore. We were going through the stairs and at a certain point I was going to be able to see the dining room, so I was nervous and excited. When I got to that point I just saw my mother standing and facing indirectly the stairs, and she was with a smile on her face. I was shocked and impressed that it was true, my mom was happy and smiling!
I know now that “el mundo de la magia” was just part of our imagination, and I remember also how years after that Istill remembered it and I couldn´t figure out how or what my brother did so when we went down my mom was happy. That reminiscence was able to make me unsure if, at that point, I was wrong by thinking that “el mundo de la magia” was not real. I can hardly remember other trips and missions we made, but I can still remember the last one. I think we weren´t able to finish that mission because at that point I was older and I had lost my faith and the power of my imagination required to play. That moment hurt me, because I knew I was letting go something great, a big part of childhood, I’ve lost the innocence of a little kid. But another part of me, maybe not as big, was proud and happy because I knew that I wouldn´t be fooled any more. I miss those days, but it makes me happy to know that I have memories where I can rely on to remember especially something so meaningful for me as those trips to “el mundo de la magia”.
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